Phew! Sorry guys. It’s been a busy few weeks and all I’ve felt like doing is staring at Bonnie. You’ve seen her, right? So you understand.
On Sunday, September 20th, Bonnie had her first sacrament. She was baptized at St. Thomas More, the church where Steven went through RCIA and got 4 sacraments in one week and officially joined the Catholic church. The church where we had our wedding blessed. The church where we led our first marriage retreat. Deacon Wayne presided over the baptism and it was so special because he was one of the few who knew about our miscarriage journey as it was happening. It was a great day, made even greater by the huge number of family and friends who were able to be there to celebrate Bonnie’s big day with us.
Before Bonnie was born I had all these plans for her baptism. It was going to be this huge elaborate event and everything was going to be perfectly planned and executed. I quickly learned how silly that was. It was hard enough in those first few weeks to get three people to church, let alone plan an event around a service. So even though I sent out the announcements late, and forgot to put RSVP directions on the invitation, and put all the cards in one bag so that I have no idea which present came from which person, it all worked out. People came, people ate, people held Bonnie, and I was deeply humbled by our community of family and friends.
There was a period while Mom was sick and then after she died that I disconnected from people. I kept to myself, watched a lot of TV and slept in on Sunday mornings. I was incredibly lonely, but I couldn’t find my way out. Simple small talk that used to energize me felt like running a marathon. I was uncomfortable everywhere and constantly anxious. I thought it was just me, just part of growing up and joining the censored working world. It wasn’t until Steven joined RCIA and we started going to mass regularly that I realized I had to let go. I needed to be open and let myself be vulnerable with people to get any sort of joy. I hear it all time in homilies and podcasts now – we need to be in relationship with one another. The human spirit craves interaction.
So thank you, sweet family and friends, for showing up and supporting us and telling us Bonnie is beautiful. You make this life infinitely better.